Future Cougars?


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Today I decided to take the boys with me to school. No, not class - I'm not that crazy. I just needed to go sell my books from last term and buy my new ones for next week (makes me so happy to do this). So I figured since I leave the boys to go to the magical land of school so often, I should let them see exactly what this magical land looks like.


On the way down Mason asked if I drive that far to school every time. Yep. Then we got to campus and I realized I left my wallet at home. Rookie mistake, so I was told. Since I don't have time tomorrow or Friday to return my books I was forced to drive home, get my wallet and drive back to campus. It made me about as happy as buying new textbooks.

I parked and walked the same way I do for school - halfway up to campus and both the boys were asking why it was so far away.
First stop: a family of ducks. They were at the fence but started walking away when the boys came up, you can still set them in the distance.

Stop #2: My first class of the day...10 bonus points if you know what building this is in! Milo liked the fancy desks that swiveled from the side.

The boys doing a little teaching. They said they really wanted to leave their drawings for my teacher to see.

We made our way to the Wilk, ate at the Cougareat, used the restroom, returned books, bought books, (Milo had a short conversation with a guy working there, after which I had a short conversation about not touching people you don't really know - Milo said he just wanted to see what is lanyard felt like.) got some candy from the bookstore, cleaned candy off the faces and hands, used the restroom, walked through the library to see the "underground" library, visited my other classroom (Milo wondered why those desks didn't swivel) and back to the car.

This is the famous Tree of Wisdom statue on campus. These are the last two pictures taken, so the fact that the boys are still smiling means we didn't wait too long to leave.

After campus we drove by the apartment complex Erik and I lived while we were dating, the dorms I lived in and the apartment complex we lived in while Mason was a baby.

The boys had fun seeing everything, I had fun sharing it with them - and it didn't rain the whole time we were there, pretty lucky considering it was raining on and off all day long!

and here we are


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one year.

So weird to think about I don't even really know what to say.

Maybe it's because it happened to fall on one of the busiest days of my whole school life. Or because this busy day happened to come right after a very late night which in turn made me very tired. Maybe because today feels pretty much like it has every other day for the last year. Or because my super busy day hasn't really ended because I have two final papers to write. Or because I'm so tired but busy that I feel like I can't even think straight on any given day.

I miss you every day Erik. Sometimes I think I should have acted a little more needy so that you had to stay around to help me. The boys still talk about how you used to throw them on the bed. And that one time you tried to throw me and I fell off (they still think it's so funny). And Milo loves to bring up how he has green eyes just like you. And Mason is trying his hardest to fill your shoes (and I see you in him almost every day). Always opening my door, unbuckling my seatbelt, reminding me to lock the car. And don't worry, they both tell me I look pretty and that they love me all the time.


Alright, for someone who didn't have anything to say, I sure can say a lot. I'll stop now. Because otherwise I could go on for quite some time, and no one really wants that.

And just so you know, I can only do this because I don't do anything alone. Thank you for your help. Everyone.

ps. A few people have been wondering, so - after a few problems and a lot of waiting, the headstone is finally here. Not exactly what I had envisioned, but that's what I get for being a perfectionist.


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The scene: Milo and I sitting at the kitchen table finishing up dinner.

Milo (eating a bowl of peaches): "So, what did you learn at school today?"

Me (slightly laughing in my head): "Oh, I learned about the effects of mass media and a little about advertising in newspaper and TV."

Milo (without even a pause): "Oh. Did you learn anything in science?"

deja vu


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If you cannot tell what is pictured above, let me help you out - it's the receipt I was given when I retrieved my car after it was towed last night because I parked somewhere I wasn't supposed to.

Let's add to that I attended a soccer game while listening to the group I was with talk about BYU fans and missions.

And then I will add that after the game I also listened to them talk about who was getting engaged and what wedding receptions were coming up.

And then I had a thought...towings, missions, engagements...did I just get my initiation back into college? Weird.

I'm not sure if I should feel happy that I can somehow fit into this crowd still or oddly worried that it happened.

going crazy


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So it's Friday night at about 11:50 and I'm doing what I normally do about this time: halfway watching TV while looking for some miscellaneous thing online when one thought leads to another and I realize I don't remember saying prayers with Mason. Wait, I don't even remember him ever saying goodnight to me before going to bed. Now that I think about it I don't remember him coming downstairs after his shower. Weird.


So I walk down the hallway to his room to find the light on and him not there.

Next thought is that he probably decided to be sneaky and sleep in my room tonight, but as I walk up the stairs I realize my room light is on and I don't see him in my bed.

Then I as I walk into my room I see the bathroom light on and the door shut.

And I open the door and find this:

Sweet little Mason fell asleep right out of the shower while his crazy-brained mom didn't even realize for hours. Wow. Where has my mind gone lately?

pretty please with a cherry on top.


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So my teacher said this doesn't work, but I'm going to give it a go anyway...

In my Mass Comm class we have this super exciting group project to create a website about anything we want, add continuous content, send emails for updates and hope people read our emails and visit our site.

Here's my problem: I ended up in a group who thought it'd be a great idea to provide students with website to keep them in the know with what's going down in the super rad music scene in the Provo area. Good idea? Sure it is. Only problem is I don't currently associate with students who care about the local Provo music scene.

So here's my solution: I will put all my fellow blogger friends to the test. Are you up to it? Ready to read emails you care nothing about and follow the link to a website that's even less interesting to you (unless of course you happen to be a random Provo student that I don't know likes to read my blog)?

And here's what's in it for you: You can read me blog about music I like. Awesome! I mean what could be cooler than getting to know me and my local music tastes? Not much. And you can also judge me on how well my writing may or may not be getting through the attendance of my current journalism class. And as an extra bonus, maybe a few of you will even get into the local scene yourself - how can you beat a date that involves a concert for only around $5 a person?

Sounds totally wicked right? Ok, then get clickin people...

http://www.thescene.7h.com/

Don't forget to subscribe to the site so you can keep up with all the fun.

You guys are awesome, I knew I could count on you.


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So here's the deal, like it or not.

I have a really hard time blogging anything not happy. Not that my posts are always happy - but sometimes I just want to post about how my life sucks. Then I worry that I'm going to have to hear comments about how sorry people are that I think my life sucks. I don't like comments. I know that my life is maybe not as I wish it would be, but I also know there's a lot of positive things about my life. I mostly try to focus on the positive, but sometimes I have days that just make it hard. So you know what I do? I read one of my favorite blogs, Have Joy (yes Nikki it's true) and I feel better. Not because it makes me see the positive (which it can) but because I realize that I'm not the only one who has the feelings I do. Honestly I want to copy and paste her blogs and post them as mine all the time. I read them and wish I could post about crappy days in my life and not worry about what anyone's going to say to me.

But I have a hard time doing it. So I try to skip over everything sad and stressful and upsetting and just post funny and random and crazy instead. And you know what - tonight I read Have Joy and thought, I want to be like Nikki when I grow up. I want to post what I'm thinking as I'm thinking it. I want to post when it's funny and sad and random and stressful. So...

[insert stressed out upsetting thoughts here]

I'm sorry. I have them. I even started typing them. Then I deleted them. Baby steps people. Hey, at least now you know you can semi know what I'm sometimes thinking by reading someone else's blog. That's a plus right?